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Not confused
The life, loves, and beliefs of a bisexual feminist pagan
I am who and what I am
I am me 
06-May-08 08:05 pm
Well, I wasn't thinking about the fact that to join most of the groups that I would like to join, I have to have some public entries here.  :(  Silly me, huh?

I'm in a stable, loving relationship right now, thank the blessed Goddess.  I have been through hell with men so much  in my life (most of my abusers have been men), that to finally have a decent man in my life.  He is loving and understanding most of the time.  And when he's not, he tries to be.  I don't know if he knows how much I appreciate that.

He's caring and loving when I have flashbacks either during or right after sex.  That's the worst.  I'm so terrified that he's going to get tired of the tears, the paranoia, the panic/anxiety attacks, and tell me that he's done.  That he can't handle it any more, and he's leaving.  THEN, he turns around and tells me that he has no problems with my bisexuality.  We actually had a long conversation the other night about the fact that I think I'm more polyamouros than monogamous, and  that I trust him, that what happened with my ex won't happen with him.  He, at this moment in time, has no intention of testing that out, tho.  I had to giggle the other night.  I had a meme that I had copied from another lj friend (yup, this isn't my only lj), one of those "finish the sentence" ones.  One of the sentences was "I have come to realize I have a crush on:" and I was reading him the beginnings, and having him finish the sentence.  They're fun.  And things like that help keep us talking about the important stuff, believe it or not.  ANYWAY, got sidetracked there.  I had to giggle at his response to that one.  :D  He mentioned my one friend who works with him.  If you guys could have seen his face.  I think he was afraid I was gonna be upset.  I wasn't, beause, as he said, it's been kinda obvious.  But I love him for worrying.  :D  That's ok, I didn't tell him who my crush is, even thought I think he knows.  I'm way too ashamed to admit I have a crush on his friend.

Guess I'll make another entry discussing my health issues.
Ritual performed on Feb 22nd 2017, 6:14 am GMT.